July 23, 2012
-
My Daughter Hates Her Hair
Finding out I pregnant was the best news I have ever received in my life. Initially I thought I wanted a little boy. Why? I was terrified of not being able to fix a little girl’s hair (no kidding). I had babysat my little cousins numerous times and attempts at fixing their hair was disastrous. Not to mention, I wasn’t that great at fixing my own which is why my mom and aunt fixed my hair right up until I went to college. So, when I found out I was having a little girl I was thrillled and scared all at the same time. So thus began my praying (more like pleading) to God for my little girl to have what’s termed in the black community as “good” hair. I prayed day-in and day-out (no kidding) because I was terrified I would ruin her life by messing up her hair on a daily basis. I feared she be mercilessly teased on a daily basis by kids because of the horrible way I fixed her hair. I even wrote a poem about what kind of hair she’d have when she was born (again, not kidding). At last the day came for my little one to arrive. She arrived with a head full of beautiful black hair. So much hair you could put it up in little ponytails.
However, I knew black children were usually born with “good hair”. So still, I prayed. Now please people don’t be hating on me for being truthful. I was truly scared of ruining my little girl’s life. Up until my daughter’s ninth month her hair remained thick and straight (and I was breathing a sigh of relief). Then the unimaginable happened…..her hair started to fall out. What?!? 
I was terrified her would grow back in a texture I wouldn’t be able to style. My poor baby girl!! Stuck with a mother so inept at fixing hair. 
My daughter went for 3 months with very thin hair….almost bald and then right after her first birthday something beautiful happened. Curls!!! Wonderous little curls popped up all over her head. Her once shiny, black, straight hair was now beautiful, brown curls. I was so relieved and thrilled. Little did I know that this would be an ongoing battle for years to come (11 years). I had to test several products when she was younger. First I used baby oil on her hair. Didn’t work. Next I used lotion. That worked better because it was thicker but still not the best. I finally found something that worked … Johnson’s detangling spray and Aussie spray gel (not with the conditioner). These two products helped me tame her hair and actually develop some cute little styles along the way. The problem? My daughter started school and soon learned that her curly hair was unique and thus began the battle for wanting straight hair. Even though the Johnson’s detangler and Aussie spray gel worked wonders for upstyles, they did nothing for her hair when it was down. We’d start out okay with it wet but it would dry and puff/frizz. This caused her to want straight hair even more. So,in an effort to make her feel more comfortable in her own skin I tried to straighten it. But it was so thick and curly that it would never get “straight”. I did manage to find a few products that helped me to get it somewhat straight but as the day went on it would puff/frizz or if she went to sleep the curls would emerge during her sleep. So ponytails became her staple along with a constant complaint about her curly hair. Until John Freida and his 3-day-straight product came along. Finally a product that helped me get her hair truly straight and stay straight for a while. She was finally happy. However, I wasn’t. She has beautiful curls and I want her to embrace them. But how can she embrace them when everyone her around her is indicating that straight hair is better….even me by relaxing my hair. That’s one of the main reasons I decided to ditch the relaxer and go natural. I’m praying that by accepting my God-given tresses that she will accept hers. This last week I’ve been making her (yes making her because she doesn’t want to) embrace The Curly Girl Method. She thinks it’s just another thing that won’t work and I can’t blame her. She’s experienced a lot with her hair in 11 years BUT I won’t let her excuses get in the way of finally finding something that will help her to truly love her hair and the beautiful little girl she is. So, after this week of doing The Curly Girl Method something wonderful happened. Last night while washing her hair she was able to detangle her hair herself with silicone-free conditioner and her fingers (no comb). This has never happened before. Detangling usually takes close to 1.5 to 2 hours (no joke). When she got out and I could run my fingers through her hair I could have jumped for joy (but didn’t want to freak her out). If I could hug Lorraine Massey (the author of The Curly Girl Method) I would. My daughter is still not eager to embrace her curls but I’m hoping she will with time while doing this program. Lorraine promises your hair only gets better with time when doing this method. I’m praying my daughter experiences what a true gift from God her curls are.My daughter’s curls
